10 points on which to gauge your contribution to the well being of your home/marriage

This is a simple self assessment of your contribution to your home and marriage. You may argue that you are doing so much in one particular area in the home but what about other areas. Do take some time to rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 for each of the 10 areas. Then score yourself out of 100%. Then, ask your partner to score you as well and compare the scores. This should be subject of some mind opening conversations. Enjoy!

  1. Finances – What is your contribution to the family income? Are you bringing in a steady monthly income? Or are you tiling the family garden and bringing some fresh organic foods to the table. Any contribution to the family income is accepted and rated as a percentage of the total monthly income.
  2. Children – So what is your contribution to the upbringing of your children? Do you participate in feeding them, preparing them for school, dropping or picking them from events, checking homework, nursing them when they are sick? Do you spend time with them engaging in their interests like watching a favorite cartoon, playing games or reading a book? Can you name your child’s best friend, favorite cartoon, favorite movie, favorite toy, current fears or interest?
  3. House chores – Regardless of the arrangement in the home, there are certain things that must be done by the home owners. These include paying bills, taking care of animals and pets, mowing the lawn, fixing the light bulb. Whether done by yourself or arranged by yourself for someone else to do it. Do you set a schedule for yourself or do you have to be reminded and then nagged into doing it? Make a list of the things you do and have your partner list theirs and compare..
  4. Dealing with in-laws – Do you take time to visit and bond with your in-laws or do you consider this a chore you would rather ignore. Are you genuine in your concern for them? Do you visit your family 20 times in a year and visit your in-laws once a year. Does your significant other think that you treasure his/her relations as well as you treasure yours? Do your children know the grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins from both sides of the families?
  5. Family celebrations– Do you know your wedding anniversary, your spouse’s birthday, your children’s birthdays. Are you involved actively in planning for the birthday celebrations or any other significant occasion for them? Or you drag yourself to the function once everything has been set and look at your watch every hour to see how soon you can disappear. Do you choose your children’s presents, wrap them for them and choose their birthday cakes? Are you involved in planning family holidays, weekend getaways and lunch trips? Or do you wait for everything to be planned and then your part is just to partake?
  6. SEX –Do you actively participate in setting the mood, initiating contact and enhancing the enjoyment of the same for you and your partner? Or do you lie there like a piece of log as you plan the next day’s activities or read a book and ask them to hurry up and get done so that you can sleep? Does your partner know that you find them attractive? That you still enjoy being with them?
  7. Companionship – How many hours does your spouse spend by themselves as you work or socialize? When was the last time you watched a movie together? Played a game? Went for a walk together, cleaned your bedroom together or just sat and talked?
  8. Supporting your partner’s interest – So what does your partner like to do for fun? Have you ever gone to watch them play their sport or instrument, watch them sing or dance or watch soccer, paint or garden? Does your partner know that you appreciate the things that they love and that you are supporting them to achieve the desires of their hearts? Do you know your partner’s friends and what they like to do together? Have you ever invited your partner to see what you love to do and where you like to visit?
  9. Religion – What are your family’s religious beliefs and practices? Do you participate in them? Are you teaching the same to your children? What are your children learning about your religious beliefs? What do they tell their friends about you?
  10. Jobs – What is the place of your job in your family’s hierarchy of needs? Does your family think that your job/income/business is more important than them? Have you ever asked them? When your children are asked to speak about you, do they only talk about your job? Play a game with them and ask them to narrate something about you to their class. You may be shocked by their answers…. Or lack of them…

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